Thursday, October 28, 2010

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

I don't really have anyone who has really "hurt" me lately. I've been hurting in different ways just emotionally and mentally. I have a huge piece of me that wants to be with Olivia and stay home with her.. (I know VERY unlikely this can happen due to MONEY) Imagine that something that always seems to cause issues for people. I try to look at the positive side of everything at least I have a good paying job and we are finally paying off debt and being able to get new things that we've needed for awhile.. Carpet and a hot water heater for follow!! (SO excited) I'm just hurting because of my own feelings.. I know ALL mommys probably go through this, but it sure STINKS. I pray everyday for God to grant me a new journey in life that will lead me to be home or somewhere with Olivia that will allow us to still pay bills... I'm not going to give up until I feel happy. I'm headed to the gym to sign up for a membership to hopefully get motivated and feel like i'm actually living. Somedays I feel just like a big ol BLAH... I need to get some motivation in my life. Starting Monday at 5:30am I will start working out for an hour each morning to make myself loosen up and get less stressed!! I'll keep everyone posted on how that works out for me.
I just want to say thanks to family and friends that have been here for me through everything and listen to me as I've made one decision in the past week to stay where i am and not jump off into the dark with a new job that would have allowed me to be with Olivia, but the pay was not going to get the bills paid and we would have been struggling I didnt' feel like God gave me the signs to take it, but to have PATIENCE and he WILL provide. I'm just waiting :)

Everyone have a GREAT day!! XoXo

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